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Joke of the Day

"My professor told me my writing reveals my erudite nature. I explained that my birthstone is actually amethyst."

"Have you ever played AD Soraka? It's bananas!"

"Duct Tape Won't Fix Stupid. But it will gag the sound."

"How physicists see other sciences: Biology: squishy physics Geology: slow physics Computer Science: virtual physics Psychology: people physics Chemistry: impure physics Math: physics minus the units"

"Whats it called when you give a dolphin food for it to do a trick? Squid Pro Quo"

"What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important? An irrelephant."

"According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now"

"What do the Welsh call safe sex? Spray painting the sheep that bite."

"So a dyslexic walks into a bra. . ."

"NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant"