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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Robert Plant got in a car wreck? Now he's Robert Vegetable."

"So, putting a ""caution wet floor"" sign down before delivering my best pick up line is frowned upon...."

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"Mom: When I was your age I never had sex Me: Mom, I'm 32 Mom: Exactly"

"I dated a lesbian who thought she might be bi, but I was afraid to make the first move. Felt like a pussy the first time she kissed me."

"AMA: US government thinks I am an ET dealing drugs Because I am an illegal alien."

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you? A pool table."

"i don't know how to flirt so i am just going to stare at you until you marry me"

"What do you call a magnet that can go both ways? Bi-Polar"

"I met this wonderful girl who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for a good relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."