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Joke of the Day

"Borrowing Money ""Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?"" ""Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today"" ""And at home ?"" ""They're all very well, thank you, very well""."

"What is Gucci Mane's favorite kind of cheese? Gruyeauuuurrrrrrrrrr"

"Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth."

"90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running."

"911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody."

"Tiger, Lance, and now Oscar Maybe Nike should tell their athletes ""Just Don't Do It!"""

"How do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it........"

"I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, ""Stairs""."

"A mobster walks into a bar, but then he turns around and walks out. Because he realized it was a set-up."

"What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz? Cheese was."