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Joke of the Day

"A neckbeard is talking to his friend about his trip to the doctor. He said they found a tumor, it's... M'lignant"

"What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !"

"Don't lie you would touch all sorts of weird shit with a ten-foot pole."

"New job. A nigerian man got a job at US, on his first day he shows up late for work. His boss yells, ""You should have been here at 8.30!"" The man replies, ""Why? What happened at 8.30?"""

"When two girls hate each other, they say ""we should DEFINITELY hang out"" and then take turns shouting ""definitely!"" until one of them dies."

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.L Then it dawned on me."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where to put the cucumber."

"When something falls in your mouth by accident and you eat it, it's a snaccident."

"McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know"

"Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph? Because he's too short to be an essay"