109737

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic? A seizure salad."

"Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours."

"Why is the media making such a big deal about the olympic swimmer's period? It's a perfectly normal female body function that, according to my wife, occurs 2-3 times per month."

"Whenever I speak to religious people about my beliefs, I receive a lot of judgement. It seems that Jesus is the only one who truly accepts me for who I am!"

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's fingers."

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"Did you hear Dora the Explorer is having trouble with her Tinder account? Swiper no swiping"

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"Nothing sucks worse... than a shitty vacuum cleaner"

"My brother won a TV quiz show by bribing the guy who sets the questions. He's a criminal mastermind."