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Joke of the Day

"It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks. Your piano."

"Did you hear about that hippie superhero who could make tulips and daffodils grow just by sprinkling baking ingredients on them? He said it was his self raising flour power."

"I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend. You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts."

"After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back ""Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"""

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear."

"What do pirates call fat whores? LAND HO!"

"Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black."

"Q: What's the book of socially prominent monsters? A: The Book of who's Boo."

"Why don't Africans go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again."

"A man had to visit a hospital after inserting five toy horses up his anus... ... the doctors described his condition as stable."