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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke? He glances over his shoulder."

"Husband: Call ambulance, Fast! I am Having a Heart Attack... Wife: ( Took his mobile): ""Quick!! Tell me the Password!!"" Husband: It's Okay, I am feeling better now!! :D :D"

"Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist? They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it. Teehee"

"Always remember, that no matter how useless you think you are, you are still someone's reason to smile."

"""Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?"" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs"

"I just found out my wife has an identical twin I saw her on Tinder."

"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."

"I'm so patriotic; I piss red, white, and blue. My doctor told me it was pancreatic cancer. I told him to shut his commie mouth!"

"What's worse than finding your first grey pubic hair...... ....finding it between your teeth."

"According to scientists drinking one can of four loko is like drinking 4 beers, 2 red bulls, a small taco, a ghost and a park bench."