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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with an apple on his head, and the bartender asks ""Why do you have a pear on your head?"" He replies, ""It's not a peach, it's a plum!"""

"What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day? A last name."

"do you know what 6.9 is? It's a period ruining a beautiful thing."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."

"Adel and Lionel Richie... Adel and Lionel Ritchie met at the Grammys last weekend. All they said was ""Hello"""

"Q: What insect lives on nothing? A: Moths, because they eat holes."

"What would happen if you ate yeast and polish? You would rise and shine."

"There is a guy who lives in my town that holds the record for the most concussions by a human. He actually lives right near me, only a stone's throw away."

"My dog is disabled so I have to hold him up when he pees. Long story short, I'm getting really good at writing my name in the snow."

"We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately."