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Joke of the Day
"What do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7"
Next Joke
"Thank you, iPhone predictive text, for sending my mother a message that said ""WOOOOFUCKYEAH!"" There's no joke here except I'm 30 & grounded."
"If you are attacked by a group of clowns... Go for the Juggler."
"""I JUST WANT TO PUT A BABY IN YOU!"" -me, trying to put a crib together"
"If I had a dollar for everytime I unnecessarily sexualize a sentence, I'd have 69 dollars."
"My wife caught me cross-dressing... ...and said we're finished. So I packed her clothes & left."
"Dad: Your grandpa used to cut the grass before he died, but now he's- Son: Dad please don't... Dad: Lawn gone."
"A guy goes to get a physical... The doctor says ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""
"Son, when you were born I promised you that I would make sure that you would be a household name. So you see, that's why I named you Kleenex."
"Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !"