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Joke of the Day

"Had a date planned for tonight but he got electrocuted at work. I'm serious The things men do to avoid hanging out with me is amazing."

"do you have any idea how fast you were going? ""no, I'm not wearing my contacts"""

"What do you call an irritated nerd? A noyd."

"One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours."

"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."

"I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away."

"So Batman skipped church... Call that a Christian Bale"

"Two things are expected on reddit. To be corrected and to find out who's racist"

"It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet."

"""Please note that WinRAR is not free software. After a 40 day trial period you must either buy a license or remove it from your computer."""