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Joke of the Day

"According to my textbook, The old Greek currency was called Drachmae but apparently now they use a currency called *whoosh*"

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"What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert? Very tired feet."
"A German tourist in France. A German tourist arrives at a French airport. Immigration officer asks him: ""Occupation?"" The German replies: ""No, no, just visiting."""
"Sleep is always the answer. Upset? Go to sleep. Not feeling well? Go to sleep. Already asleep? Stop making excuses and go to sleep harder."
"What does a nosey pepper do? He's Jalapeno business"
"Who are the worlds fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds"
"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"
"Vanilla Ice should be President If there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it."
"""You want to see a pig with three eyes?"" A piiig"
"Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving."