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Joke of the Day

"Why doesnt Santa Clause have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and its only ever down a chimney"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Wait, what am I saying? That'll never happen. Never mind."

"Trump says he'll make Oasis pay for a wonder wall."

"People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016 He might, but for now he's just Biden his time."

"""We've isolated the gene for the long, drawn-out sigh!"" -Sighentists"

"I can be the man of your dreams... ...if you dream of a man who exposes himself to the elderly on public transport."

"You know that you're not a child anymore when... you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch."

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit."

"if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine"

"YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u"