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Joke of the Day

"I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes"

"Every year I end up have so much Thanksgiving leftovers.. Not this year though. I'm quitting cold turkey"

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch."

"my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying ""jeff is dead"" so they know what the flowers are for"

"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? well.... I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"Apparently saying, ""You mad, bro?"" is frowned upon if you work in customer service."

"I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest..... I won by a hare"

"Communism and nude beaches have one thing in common The idea sounds great unless you've actually been there."

"Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire."