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Joke of the Day

"[shines flashlight under chin] In my day, kids ate gluten and rode bikes without helmets and OPEN LETTERS DIDN'T EXIST [children scream]"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws while the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to keep browsing Reddit and another to get someone else to do it."

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"I thought i ran away from the Tomatoes I really didn't think they would ketchup."

"When you're sliding into first.... Inspired by a LeBron James thread from /pics of all things.... What's your favorite?"

"Why did I join Twitter? Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out."

"Really?? EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting? Seems kind of implausible..."

"What do you call a seaside shanty for kids without parents? A wharfanage"

"Why are London buses red? Because they have to come every 10 minutes"