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Joke of the Day

"Iron Man, Iron Man, does everything an Iron can Gets real hot on a mat, makes your clothes get really flat Look out! Here comes the Iron Man"

"Two guys walk into a bar... Two guys walk into a bar near the optometrist, but the third one already got his glasses, so he's fine."

"How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes? You've had whey too much!"

"Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano? He was fingering a minor"

"Look I see that you love me and would kill for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a GF. I'll play the odds. -Woman logic"

"What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction? A vice grip."

"I would never feed you to the wolves. You're too toxic and I like dogs."

"What does a footballer and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!"

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah"