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Joke of the Day

"""Your lifeguard resume is just a pic of David Hasselhoff"" I feel it says all u need to know about me ""He's drunk with a cheeseburger"" Yes"

"Have you ever heard of movie Constipation? No?? Because it still hasn't come out yet."

"""Put your pants on grandma, you're scaring the reptiles!"" - Me, camping"

"When I call you Hun, it's short for Atilla."

"You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"

"A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, ""what are you going to have?"" The seal replies, ""anything except Canadian club."""

"How did Captain Hook die ? He wiped his ass with the wrong hand."

"What do you call a person who acts based on their feeling rather than logic? A girl on period."

"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? ...telling your dad you're gay"

"Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it."