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Joke of the Day

"Why did CNN hire a tabloid ripping strongman as one of their anchors? Because he was great at breaking the news."

"I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me."

"How bad is the economy? Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs."

"My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition."

"What is woman spelled backwards? Kitchen"

"Did you hear how they caught the guy who burgled Will Smith's house? Fresh prints"

"What happens when you mix roofies and Viagra? Ring toss."

"You guys wanna hear a potassium joke? K"

"You're not an American until you've eaten more than the serving suggestion."

"Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."