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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe."

"[lights 2016 calendar on fire] There. Now you can't hurt anyone any longer. [wind blows calendar onto my coat; I'm engulfed in flames]"

"Out of embarrassment, I just told a train passenger I'm crying cos my bf dumped me. Real reason is I'm listening to the Lion King soundtrack"

"Why did the hipster burn their tongue? They ate their dinner before it was cool."

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com It was a site for sore eyes"

"I bet nobody here knows the name of the ""unknown soldier"" It's probably because they're so undrground."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?"

"If you put a picture of yourself in a locket You could say you are Independent."

"Hot singles in your area are looking for an air conditioned indoor court to practice on before their match."