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Joke of the Day

"A nurse asks an absent-minded doctor, ""Doctor, why are you writing with a thermometer?"" The doctor looks down and says, ""God damnit. Now some asshole has my pen."""

"I'm sick of my mate Adam. He walks round like he's gods gift to women."

"smdh at dollhouses without stairs between the different floors. Hows that going to work, dumb-ass."

"I hate people who don't know the difference between ""you're"" and ""your"". There so stupid."

"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."

"I asked my cellmate how long he's in for. He said, ""Until I ejaculate."""

"Just found out my alcoholic uncle is into necrophilia Gives a whole new meaning to 'cracking open a cold one.'"

"Why did the blonde stuff 98 berries in her mouth They were cramberries."

"Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio. Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown."

"My therapist said that I second guess myself too much. [deleted]"