221942

Joke of the Day

"What does a cow call his mate? Oxfam."

"I only eat in two situations: when I'm hungry and when I'm not hungry"

"What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed? A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast"

"Did you hear about the new car that instead of using gas, runs on Carbon, Oxygen, Carbon, and Potassium? It's a real guzzler."

"I have a joke about Ikea but I can't put it together"

"Q: What two states are opposites? A: Maryland and Misury"

"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"

"I haven't spoken a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."