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Joke of the Day

"I haven't spoken a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted."

"What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common? You break them at the middle and load them from behind"

"If you hate awkward silences, then necrophilia isn't for you."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it!"

"I was disappointed by the British version of Breaking Bad. It ends after he gets cancer and all his treatment is paid for by the NHS."

"I know five people who are clinically insane... I'm two of them."

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnaping?"

"Why do /r/Planetside moderators dislike the Death Star II? It's a trap."

"I just raped my hi hat White tssst scum"