221625

Joke of the Day

"Dinner with Jesus Say you have a dinner date with Jesus, in a fine Italian restaurant, what would he order ? Jesus takes the veal !"

"Me: It'll just make mom grumpy, so don't tell her that the dishwa..... 4 year old: MOM! DISHWASHER'S BROKEN!"

"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant."

"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim!"

"A national monument to those brave online heroes who were ""First!"" in comments."

"Optimist vs Pessimist Optimist - The glass is half full Pessimist - The glass is half empty Feminist - The glass is being raped"

"What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon? tenish."

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The barman says ""sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?"

"With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior."