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Joke of the Day
"9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"
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"How do you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits in your wife's clothes"
"What's blue and doesn't fit any more? A dead epileptic."
"I don't know why I would want to ""Keep Up"" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)"
"Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I think ""This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."""
"What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WAAAAAATEEEEERRRR"
"""You thinkin what I'm thinkin?"" ""That we should dance our way out of this street fight?"" ""Wait what?"" ""No time! Break on 8! And a 5 6 7 8."""
"If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I'm very annoying, and they return me to safety."
"How do you kill a hipster? Push them into the mainstream and watch them tumblr"
"I've got my own lie detector at home. I call her ""honey"".....:)"