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Joke of the Day

"thought I was watching Twilight for 45 min then I realized I was in an alley watching a dog bark at a dead cat next to some cardboard."

"What's Al Qaida's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"Q: What do bees chew? A: Bumble gum."

"What's the weather like in the ghetto? A little muggy."

"Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what ""nerd"" means."

"I killed a man once... ..for $30. Sucked him off for another 10... Never did see that $10"

"Man.. These croutons are the best thing since dried bread!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abel ! Abel who ? Abel to see you ha ha!"

"Why did everyone trust the marsupial? Everything he said was troo"

"Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control."