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Joke of the Day
"not enough holes in walls any more, not like the glory days."
Next Joke
"A blind man walks into a bar. And a chair. And a table."
"""What's for dinner?"" Updog & chips. ""Does updog have gluten in it?"" No..wait..you're supposed to say... ""You know I can't have gluten Karen"""
"I read all tweets with poor grammar and word choice in a Cookie Monster voice."
"I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added ""they fall right off"""
"I like my men like I like my coffee... White, tepid, and saccharine sweet."
"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."
"The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle."
"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil"
"Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah? Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin."