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Joke of the Day

"How do you hold your liqour? I hold mine by the ears."

"Love so rare, you can still hear it moo."

"Imagine Putting 5 worth of fuel in your car and your cars like ""well, since we're both being childish"" And refuses to open the door."

"*Skynet becomes self aware* *Starts a blog*"

"Doc: This pill may cause: Heart attack, stroke, minor weight gain, and death Me: WOAH BACK UP, weight gain? I'm out."

"I hate myself for laughing, but a joke my grandpa told me.. What do you call 5 black people having sex? A Three some."

"Tall Grande at Venti. It's the midget psychic at large in the perspective of Starbucks. Can I get internet points now?"

"it's raining and my gf has been staring at the window for about an hour.. i should probably let her in."

"Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband."

"What did the socialist use before candles? Electricity."