22096

Joke of the Day

"It's rather pathetic that the only thing that consistently works on my car is the Check Engine light."

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"They're remaking Ocean's 11 with an all-female cast and it's gonna be called Ocean's 8 It's that damn wage gap I tell ya!"
"Why is the economy so bad has anyone told these guys there's always money in the banana stand"
"Can a hippo be a hypocrite. Would the elephants call him hippocrite. Then he can call them elecunts."
"Objects on twitter may appear funnier than they are."
"To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President."
"""I heard low winter sun is pretty good."" - low winter sun from behind a bush trying to throw it's voice"
"Women say they like a man in uniform but I've been wearing this naughty nurse outfit all day and not a single woman has approached me yet :("
"Florida lawmaker Randall Thompson is forced to resign after it is revealed he spent taxpayer money on expensive footwear for his wife. I guess Randall mishandled his panhandle sandal scandal."
"So frustrating when you have to text but you're home so you have to go get in the car and drive all the way to the left lane of the freeway."