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Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution."

"Your Momma is like Communism no class"

"This vegan I met said she knew me But I'd never seen herbivore"

"Really wish ""Forever 21"" would be honest and change name to ""Pushing 30"""

"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"

"So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?"

"A twelve year old girl finishes her bath in the Atlantic. She goes to her eight year old sister and starts a fight with her. And thus we have Ocean's Twelve vs. Hateful Eight."

"When Chuck Norris is pulled over, cops show him their IDs"

"I feel like it's my civic duty to not let luxury cars merge in front of me."

"Hey, everyone in a minivan-- hit the gas!"