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Joke of the Day

"What's long, hard, 6 inches, and makes the ladies scream when it's put in their mouth or up their vagina? A knife."

"Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany? It was x-axis"

"Why can't animals take tests? Too many cheetahs!!!!"

"We've all been yelled at... Let us all just take a moment of silence for the times we have been yelled at for doing something wrong on reddit..."

"A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car but burned her lips on the tailpipe."

"Ever notice how unaware people are of the world around them? No?"

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count ? Your girlfriend has to chew before she can swallow,"

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."

"Another Calculus Joke! What is a derivative in a derivative? Inflection."

"What is Superman when he removes his suit? Man."