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Joke of the Day

"I've been stung by a bee."

"How do you stop a gang-rape? Throw a basketball in the middle"

"Why is NATO afraid of Russia? Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this."

"What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear? An algae bra."

"Baby are you an angler fish? Because I'm super into you."

"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."

"""Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to"" - The President of the United States"

"Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens."

"Trying to talk to a girl without staring at her boobs is like trying to poop without peeing."

"I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks ""I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it."" - Mr. Manager Cordially, Mrs. Team Lead"