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Joke of the Day

"I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today. Edit: Also Tomorrow."

"A man walks into a bar... ... ouch."

"So I'm not showing up to any Halloween parties this year... I'll be telling everyone I'm Malaysia Airlines Flight 370."

"Perk of being an abortion doctor One perk of being an abortion doctor is that you don't have to worry about dog's food"

"What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2Na"

"two kids were arrested.. Two kids were arrested, one was eating fireworks and the other one was drinking battery acid. one got charged and the other got let off."

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"I'll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions."

"Bill Cosby sure does love pudding Pudding his dick where it doesn't belong."

"Feminists have been banned from walking past my local garden center In case they take a fence"