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Joke of the Day

"Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with."

Next Joke
 
"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."
"If I were a cop and pulled a woman over for speeding I would keep crying until she let me give her a ticket."
"""So all you have to do is scroll down the screen to reverse her progression from sexy prom queen to fat soccer mom."" - Facebook's Timeline"
"""My girlfriend is 41 years old"" - ""My girlfriend is 41 years old."" - ""Dude, wth?! She can be your mom!!!"" - ""Yes, but she's yours"" - ._."
"How do you take a screenshot of a picture of a circumcision? Using the snipping tool"
"Tom Cruise starts a cooking show... ""Whisky Business."" Like a whisk.. not whisky.. you know like, the metal cooking utensil? This is funny...Right? Right?"
"She said she liked it doggystyle, so I sniffed her butt then peed on the carpet"
"What's little,metal, and will ruin dinner A bullet in your face"
"I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore"
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