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Joke of the Day

"Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with."

"my revisionist Snakes on a Plane movie is just some snakes going on vacation and having an awesome time"

"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."

"It's 1942, Berlin. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest walks out."

"You know yer addicted to twitter when you count letters in the surgeon general's warning on the vodka bottle & think ""Yeah, that would fit."""

"What's the oldest age that a boy can have a circumcision? I just want to know the cutoff date."

"If Wednesday is hump day... ...is Tuesday foreplay day?"

"what do you call a Black man with a small dick? By his name you racist fuck!"

"What did the space between two tiles say? I AM GROUT"

"For my food service workers out there: How many servers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not my fucking sidework!"