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Joke of the Day
"Does your face hurt? Well it's killing me."
Next Joke
"What country do all cats wish to get their food from? Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM"
"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite drink? White Russian, Straight"
"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""
"What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer? Woofleball"
"My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces."
"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat it until she starts again."
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Give a man a monthly subscription of fish delivery right to his home, profit."
"[space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: ""we should've taken our own"" astronaut holding net: ""just keep looking"""
"Disappointment usually stems from expecting too much from strangers on Facebook."