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Joke of the Day

"I'd imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters."

"What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !"

"The angry moment when you plug your charger into your phone but you realize hours later your charger wasn't plugged in."

"If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child."

"My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video."

"At this point, it's kind of embarrassing if your pet isn't a YouTube sensation."

"Do you know what is heart warming? That even the most Orthodox Jew, and the cruelest of all the people of Al-Qaeda, will look for the same thing once they get down from a plane. A Synagogue."

"Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral? The guest of honor always shows up late!"

"What will the first female Mexican head of state be called? The Precedent."

"Procrastination is just like Masturbation It's fun while you're doing it until you realize all you did was fuck yourself."