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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Dora the Explorer is having trouble with her Tinder account? Swiper no swiping"

"Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels."

"What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear."

"Subway should be taken to court. They force their male employees to make sandwiches for other people and that is clearly sexist."

"How to keep a reader in suspense? [removed]"

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"Do you know what the strongest thing in the world is? Exlax, it's a laxative and knocked the shit out of super man"

"Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn"

"I saw a guy at the beach yelling ' Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed at him... I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!? I don't let people touch my new iPhone"