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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One person."

"[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert? Because the C-section is always messy."

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit."

"Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf."

"I'm having a meeting tomorrow at 5 for people that have trouble ejaculating. If you can't come, just let me know."

"I am a Renaissance Man in the sense that I'll probably die young of a horrible disease while great discoveries are made around me."

"Why are executioners so rich? Because they make a killing"

"why cant women count to 70 because 69 is a mouth full"

"Oregon Trail 2016: Jayden has a gluten allergy. You can't even ford the river rn. Purchase one woke of oxen? Madison is literally dead"

"I like women the way I like my wine... Locked up in the cellar."