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Joke of the Day

"If swimming is such great cardio, explain manatees."

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"Why are Ethiopians so good at blowjobs? Because they have to swallow everything they can"
"Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time."
"Just had a 9 minute argument with The Boy over why he needs to change his underwear this morning. Don't forget your birth control, friends."
"A man finishes a tube of chapstick... ...just kidding."
"Why don't more people cook Armenian food? Because it can be very thyme-consuming."
"I really wish my boss would fall for the ""but all my friends are allowed to be late to work"" excuse."
"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."
"God made me an atheist Who are you to question his Wisdom."
"Q: What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? A: S&M&M."