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Joke of the Day

"Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers."

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"Why do Brides wear white? To match the rest of the household appliances."

"What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee? Britney Spears"

"Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook."

"ME: why is my son failing TEACHER: just because u gave him that name doesnt mean he'll be intelligent ME: [gasping] cover ur ears Smartboy"

"I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying"

"Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia."

"What birds are found in Portugal ? Portu-geese !"

"Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder Frankly I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."