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Joke of the Day
"I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat We're like Modest Mouse but way better"
Next Joke
"I was going to make a subreddit about middle children today, But then I realised everyone would just forget about it."
"Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross."
"[roommate hears me come in] ""how was the date?"" [face sucked back and teeth showing like im skydiving] apparently, I'm allergic to shellfish"
"What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster? One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach."
"No matter if you are a man or a woman Taking off a bra is usually a pretty awesome event."
"Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."
"Dark humor is like a kid with cancer..... It never gets old."
"Girls are like an internet virus... ...they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile..."
"What is Chalah before it's baked? Judo"