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Joke of the Day

"You're a recruiter and Google is not blocked by your company filter. What folder do emails from histrionic venture capitalists go in? [deleted]"

"What did the gay guy say to Pinocchio? Lie to me motherfucker."

"The fourth Harry Potter book marked a huge tone shift for the rest of the series. I mean, the fifth book was dead serious."

"The Average human walks 900miles per year, and drinks 22 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon... Not bad!"

"Q: Why did the ghoul knit herself three socks? A: Because she grew another foot."

"A seal walks into a bar A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, ""What's your pleasure?"" The seal replies, ""Anything but Canadian Club."""

"How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day? One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab."

"I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here."

"Teenage sex. Haha-ha...ha...amirite guys?... : {"

"What's the opposite of a gay bar? An allahu akbar."