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Joke of the Day

"Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?"

"My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake"

"If a caveman from the Paleolithic era saw you turn down a cupcake because youre on the ""Paleo Diet,"" he'd kill you with a sharpened seashell"

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was just a little queer."

"I needed some white noise yesterday to go to sleep. So i recorded myself saying ""All lives matter"" and played it on repeat until i fell asleep."

"I got pretty cool moves while dancing... But they say, so do people with parkinsons."

"Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything We called him 9/12"

"Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education? A Poison Ivy League College."

"After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall"

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."