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Joke of the Day

"My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one."

"Me: I'm going shopping. Him: If you buy more than one pair of shoes I'm divorcing you. Me: Deal!"

"When people say let's stop fighting and act like a family, that's where I get confused."

"Political Satire If con is the opposite of pro, then what's the opposite of progress? Also, opposite of consitution."

"Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in ""I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."""

"You Guys Wanna Hear a Nice Joke? Nevermind it's probably too soon."

"Just heard this one at the pub: What do you call a monkey with a suicide vest? Ba***boom!*** ^(Don't worry, I kicked him out the door.)"

"What did the Goat living in Manama say when it starting raining? ""BAAAHH RAIN!"""

"What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs? I can't remember."

"Mom: Hey honey who are you talking too? Me: My girlfriend. Mom: Don't lie to me you fatass! You're ordering pizza aren't you? Me: ( ._. )"