219809

Joke of the Day

"How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now."

"My girlfriend told me, ""I wanna smash!"" We played smash bros from 12 to 12!"

"So I had a blind date this weekend... I lied. &nbsp; She could see."

"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day."

"World renowned cartoonist found dead in their home!! At the moment, details are sketchy..."

"What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop an onion."

"What do you call a fat pedophile? Molesterol"

"Next time someone asks you how you slept, close your eyes & say ""like this"" & just stay that way for like 8 hours!!!"

"I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween? I'll be Bach"