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Joke of the Day

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, ""9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home."" So he up and moved"

"Why cant stormtroopers be fathers? Because they shoot blank and always miss Edit: Can't*"

"Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident? She got cut off by a dick."

"If trump doesn't get the Republican nomination There will be hell toupe (Converted from another joke found in this board!)"

"Reading a book about anti-gravity... and its impossible to put down"

"The UK is horrified by even the slightest glaze of snowy weather. I ordered a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning and they closed the roads."

"Why did the skinhead have Velcro on his boots? He was a lacist."

"According to my FitBit, last week I burned 23 calories and my Ex's house."

"Adele joined my evening class. She sits at the back silently, we don't talk about her. She's the elephant in the room."