185105

Joke of the Day

"Why did the skinhead have Velcro on his boots? He was a lacist."

"LET'S GET ALL FUCKED UP ON HALLUCINOGENS AND REARRANGE OUR NETFLIX QUEUES!!!"

"What do you call a helpful potato? A Facilitater"

"Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity"

"I recently received a certificate for the breast stroke. Although the Judge called it a restraining order."

"I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse April fools! It was just a drumstick."

"RIPE David Bowie People are treating it as a rock and roll suicide Edit: rip not ripe ;-;"

"What's the best part about having sex with 25 yr olds? There's 20 of them!"

"The junkie tried but couldn't quit All of his efforts were in vein"

"Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect."