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Joke of the Day

"Wearing my bra really helps me focus on exams I love academic support."

"""Musically,I was inspired by the fax machine."" - Nicki Minaj"

"Once I get tan this summer there's going to be literally only one thing that can stop me: simple carbohydrates"

"I'm the most indecisive person I know... At least, I think I am.."

"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."

"Two bars of chocolate are falling down the stairs... ...the first one says:""Shit I think I broke my ribs"". To which the second one replies:""So what, I fucking hit my nuts!""."

"People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate' ...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog."

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? greg."

"Driving a BMW is like show and tell every day. Where you're Showing off how small your penis is and you're Telling the world."

"Sometimes I just like to surprise my liver and drink water."