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Joke of the Day

"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."

"I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me."

"Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory? He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, ""Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."""

"What do you call a redneck with a functioning car? Lucky"

"I'm on a whiskey diet I've lost 3 days already."

"9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum ""In your closet, why?"" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!"

"Who is fastest girl in the world? Answer: Airtel 4G girl."

"My girlfriend said that a sneeze is 1/10th of an orgasm. ""That's a bullshit myth,"" I said. ""Prove it,"" she replied. After sneezing ten times I said, ""See? I'm still awake and you're not pregnant."""

"A real titty bar would only serve milk."

"Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you."