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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was out standing in his field"

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"""Metric system? You mean the easy measurement system based upon multiples of 10, that every other country uses? Na. We're good."" - America"
"Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."
"57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind."
"I use to know a classic rim shot joke, but...umm tiss"
"If Captain Obvious ever got an archenemy I would expect him to be named Major WTF Now that's one Major WTF. No kidding Captain Obvious."
"I appreciate it when my cats stand around while I clean their litter box. We're like a little road crew: one guy works, three supervise."
"What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A wooly jumper!"
"You're a recruiter and Google is not blocked by your company filter. What folder do emails from histrionic venture capitalists go in? [deleted]"
"Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in ""Damn it, c'mon, not again!"" he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge"