219374

Joke of the Day

"Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, and Pitbull walk into a bar. Drake ducks."

"What do xbox services and prostitutes have in common? They both take my money then go down on me"

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they all screw in sleeping bags."

"Dear people that brush your teeth in the bathroom at work: stop that. You don't live here. Chew gum like the rest of us."

"Why there are so many avenues in France? Because german soldiers like to march in the shade"

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"[Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*"

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"CONDUCTOR: all aboard! ME: i'm pretty bored CONDUCTOR: no, i meant everyone on the train ME: oh, i'm sure they're bored too"

"How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb? It was too bright in here anyway."