219357

Joke of the Day

"Friend's Fb post: In search of a coat hanger My comment: Are you pregnant or are you locked out of your car? I've been on Twitter too long"

"What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood? ""You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"""

"I'm glad they outlawed texting while driving. I can finally get some use out of this calligraphy set."

"I was working at the butchers yesterday and a man comes in looking for a small chicken. I asked him to describe it so we can look for it together."

"If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too."

"AWE YEAH,,, I just washed my dog with Axe body wash... He's gonna to get ALL DA B!TCHES"

"Joke. What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat? ......Claude!"

"Long arm of the law Will have different meaning when Trump becomes president"

"Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: ""No son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible but I like your thinking""."

"If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head."